Journal Entry 6- My Overall Experience

For my last journal entry I wanted to talk about my overall experience at my site. When I walked in on that first day I was pretty nervous. I had no idea what I was going to have to do and I wasn’t sure how I would be received by the teacher as well as the kids. My nervousness definitely showed. Me and the two other volunteers in the room spent the first day just watching. We found a nice little spot to sit in and we just listened. We got a lot of questioning looks but that was about it. It’s funny though because by the second day the kids acted like they had known us forever. We were met with smiles and excitement. Today, writing this journal with only one more day at Asa Messer left everything is great and I have so many great memories. I remember one of the kids just walking up to me in the middle of gym class just to give me a hug. Speaking of gym I also remember partnering with this one boy who didn’t have a partner when they were practicing hitting the ball to one another. I remember walking with a kid to the office when he was leaving early and we didn't talk at all but halfway there he just grabbed onto my hand. I have tied what seems like a thousand shoes and I have said the words “good job” or “that is so cool” more times than I can count. I had such a great time at my field placement and I am going to miss them so much.

But I know that they are in really good hands. Their teacher is amazing. She is always there to listen and to teach. I know that they will continue to do art projects, read, color and count when I’m gone. The teacher and the teachers assistant are a perfect team that truly care about these kids and their jobs.

This experience also helped solidify that I love working with kids and that I genuinely can't imagine doing anything else. I have wanted to do it since I was about 5 years old and nothing has changed. The only difference now is that I don’t think that teaching is the right move for me. When I watch the teachers at Asa Messer, I admire them so much and I don’t know how they do it. They work with what little resources they have and they create lesson plan after lesson plan and adjust it so that it fits their specific students. It is a tough job. Therefore I have decided that child care rather than education is the right way to go for me. That way I still get to do what I love Either way I loved helping out in room 201 at Asa Messer and I can not wait to have more similar experiences throughout my time here at RIC and in my future career.

Journal Entry 5- Picture Day

One of the most exciting days of my field placement was the school’s picture day. The kids came in wearing their favorite outfits and they each asked me at least twice if I liked their outfits piece by piece. What I mean by this is that no one simply asked if I liked their outfit. A conversation would go like this. “Do you like my shoes?” I would reply with a “Yes, they’re very cool/pretty.” They would follow up with “Do you like my pants?” I would have to assert the fact that I liked every part of their ensemble before the final question “Do I look good?” As if I hadn’t already said that they did. I know that, that would annoy so many people but I found it so amusing. Also it helped that they truly did look really good. I saw puffy dresses, hair bows, sparkles, ironed button up shirts buttoned up to the top (however after the picture buttons were definitely undone to return to normal airflow).  

There was this one boy in particular who was overwhelmed with excitement about it being picture day. He could hardly sit still leading up to their class being called to take their photos. Periodically he would look at me with the widest smile and a twinkle in his eyes and say “It’s picture day! Yes!!” This kind of positivity and excitement was infectious.

And then just when these kids were about to burst the phone call came. The kids got in line and that is when I saw the nerves kick in. One boy was very paranoid about there being something on his face, students were practicing their smiles, and many were just quietly walking in line unsure of what they would face seeing as this was their first picture day.

When we got to the room where the pictures were being taken I heard many “oohs” and “ahs.” They looked wide eyed at the cameras and the backdrops. I remained by the door so that as they finished getting their pictures taken I could bring them back into the hallway where they were to sit against the wall until the class was finished. I remember it being difficult to keep them still and quiet  but they did their best.

While we waited I saw something that really upset me though. There was a kid from another class who really didn’t want to have his picture taken. He was so angry, almost to the point of tears, as the teacher was practically being dragged into the room. He yelled “I told you I don’t want to have my damn picture taken!” The teacher, unphased, just kept dragging the student to take his picture. It was odd that he had such a strong and negative reaction to picture day while everyone else was so happy. I wonder why, and I wonder if anyone bothered to ask him why. I think that I would have if I had the chance. I would have leveled with him and talked to him like a human being instead of taking away all of his power like that. During this class we talked a lot about power and how children don’t tend to have any. They always have to depend on and listen to adults. It must be so discouraging.  

Journal Entry 4- What Kind of Teacher/Youth Worker Do I Want to Be?

I have known that I wanted to work with children since I was about 5 years old. Ever since then I pretty much just figured that I would be myself around them. I would talk to them instead of talking at them, I’d make jokes, and I would listen and take them seriously. All of this still stands today but there is one aspect of working with kids that always made me feel really uncomfortable: discipline. I love kids but I know that they aren’t perfect little angels but so far in my life their acting out has never been my problem. There were always parents or other adults around to take over when things got messy. However going to my field placement really made me realize that I am the adult now. And luckily I have had the pleasure of working alongside a teacher with plenty of experience and skills that I could observe and take with me into my future career.

The first thing that I noticed was how the teacher struck such a fine balance where she is really stern but never mean. She has this tone of voice that kids just respond to when paired with this certain piercing look that says “I mean business.” She makes the rules very clear to all students and she doesn’t waiver from them. She also explains why certain rules are in place, there is never a “Because I said so.” She really levels with her students and makes sure the reasons behind her instructions or rules make sense to everyone, which I think increases the likelihood of students doing what they are supposed to do.

Of course the students aren’t always doing what they’re supposed to do, if they did I would be concerned. These moments where the students aren’t following the rules are very valuable to me. Through them I have observed two very efficient techniques. When a student acts out the teachers typically ask the student if they are supposed to be acting the way that they are. The child knows that they aren’t and they typically correct their behavior. However if they don’t then the second technique comes in handy, which is just excusing them from the activity until they are ready to come back. For example in the morning they have a morning meeting on the rug. If a child is playing or not paying attention and they don’t correct their behavior after being called out then they are asked to leave the rug. After a certain amount of time they are asked if they are ready to come back and they return with much more appropriate behavior. I think that it’s hard to decide what to do with children who are being disruptive because it can be argued that calling them out in front of everyone and essentially outcasting them is harmful you also can’t let them continue to disrupt the learning environment. They have to learn their lesson somehow. Therefore I like the way that the teacher doesn’t yell or cause a scene, she just talks to the students quickly without dwelling on it and eventually gives them a second chance.

Over the course of my field placement I have definitely solidified my previous ideas about needing to be kind, flexible, supportive, engaging, and gentle with children but I now see that you can not baby them. You have to be able to put your foot down and earn the respect of the children in your care. Luckily this can be achieved in ways that are much more subtle than yelling and being overbearing.  

Journal Entry 3- Article Connection

“Haha you're in the girls line!!”

“Haha you’re in the boys line!!”

These are things that I hear students say every time I volunteer in the classroom. I never thought anything of it until we read The August reading about talking to kids about gender and sexuality in schools. But now I want throw out the entire concept of “boy’s” and “girl's” lines. It's outdated and restrictive to those who may not fit nicely into the gender binary or to those who don't look like a member of the gender that they identify as (although what does a girl or boy look like?)

Whenever the students walk through the halls in their boys and girls lines and someone accidentally drifts into the “wrong line” other kids immediately laugh and the child who did it ends up embarrassed and quickly goes back into the “right” line while being very defensive and feeling the need to quickly explain what happened and assert their gender as the “right” one. I have not seen any evidence that any of the students feel like they don't exist in the gender binary or that any of them could be transgender but for all I know these seemingly harmless and funny comments about being in the “wrong” line are keeping them silent and making them feel ashamed or invisible.

The teacher doesn't say anything and honestly neither have I. August stressed that talking to the kids about sexuality and gender is important and that they are certainly not too young to comprehend it but this is so much easier said than done. I know that if they continue to have these harmful ideas about gender it could turn into a problem one day when they don't know what to say or what to do when they encounter someone who is lgbtq. But I also know that teaching kids about the lgbt community has to be done right and I know that I am not in the position to do that right now. I only see these kids once a week for two hours and during that time I am not the one in charge.  

One day I will be in a position where I am more educated and I have more time and authority and I would like to first of all eliminate the gendered lines but also sit down with kids and be straight with them. But for right now I think that August would be disappointed because instead of challenging the ideas that these children seem to have about gender being such a rigid concept both the teachers and myself have, as August phrased it, “follow the paths of least resistance.” We “put one foot in front of the other in what seems the natural, even the right, direction without critically examining the journey or the destination.”

Journal Entry 2- Demographics and Diversity

Asa Messer Elementary School at a Glance (2016-2017 data)

• Public School
• Pre-K to Grade 4
• 42 teachers
• 534 students
• 65% Hispanic
• 13% Black
• 10% White
• 10% Asian
• 2% Multicultural

Notable Statewide Student Survey Information from the 2013-2014 Academic Year (grades 4 and 5)

Statement	Asa Messer’s Response	Statewide Response
Percentage of students eligible for subsidized lunch	93%	48%
Percentage of ESL/ Bilingual Education students	38%	8%
Chronic Absenteeism %	30%	12%
Percentage of students who believe they will finish high school	68%	84.7%
Percentage of students who believe they will go to college	61%	79.8%
Do your teachers think that you’ll go to college?	Yes: 62.7% No: 5% Not sure: 32.3%	Yes: 61.5% No: 1.9% Not sure: 36.6%
How many days a week do you usually eat breakfast?	0: 5.7% 7: 54.1%	0: 2.5% 7: 72.7%
How many days a week do you usually run around and play for at least an hour?	0: 14.6% 7: 25.3%	0: 5.6% 7: 39.7%
Percentage of students who feel safe walking outside of school	62.2%	80%
Percentage of students who had been robbed at school	26.5%	15.9%
Percentage of kids who had been called names/ made fun of	55%	37.8%
Percentage of kids who said that they had been in a physical fight during the current school year	27.3%	12.7%
Percentage of kids who had seen another student with a weapon of some sort within the past year	33.8%	11.6%
Percentage of students who had ever consumed alcohol without the permission of a parent or guardian	13.4%	3.4%
Percentage of students who had consumed alcohol in the past 30 days 1-2 times	6.7%	.7%
Percentage of students who had consumed alcohol 3+ times in the past 30 days	3.3%	.5%
Percentage of students who had ever smoked a cigarette	7.6%	2%
Percentage of students who had ever taken an illegal drug	4.3%	1%
% of students who had been offered drugs at school	5.2%	1%

Things that I have observed that reflect these statistics

• The teacher's assistant speaks some Spanish to the kids. For example she will call some of the boys “Papito.” She also uses Spanish when kids aren't doing what they are supposed to be doing. It helps because it reminds them of their parents, who they are used to listening to. I think that using Spanish words in the classroom is probably comforting to students and it makes them feel represented and like they belong.
• I also see posters of kids of different races around the classroom
• The teacher's are firm with the students. Sometimes they seem harsh (example: saying things like “Did I tell you to do that?” or “Worry about yourself” in a certain tone that shows attitude) but it's just the culture. There isn't any “okay so if you want, you can…” it's just commands. They sometimes yell but it isn't in a mean way. They aren't afraid to show that they have power because otherwise they would be walked all over.
• I know that the school is in a poor neighborhood and I wasn't surprised that so many kids get free lunch, I've also seen that the kids are given breakfast in the morning.
• When I told a member of my family that I was volunteering at Asa Messer, she kind of grimaced. She said that it was a bad area and that the kids there were probably going to be difficult and rough. Looking at the statistics of fighting and things like that would probably make people agree but I don't. None of these numbers make me see anything but children. I see children who have a lot of stressors in their lives but they are trying their best and they are so sweet and kind.

  When I walk into this school I feel safe, welcome, and even at home. I think that people who come from more privilege might look down on a school or neighborhood like this but they would be missing out on the bigger picture. The bigger picture of a community where everyone knows and supports each other and they have this bond over their shared cultures. Everyone is so comfortable around one another. I think that people who aren't from here would really benefit from coming here and seeing that and learning how people in urban areas are and how to interact with them. But I personally don't feel like I can get as much out of this experience because it's already so familiar to me. I almost wish that I could have volunteered at some rich school with mostly white kids, that would have been new.

Journal Entry 1- Kozol Style

As much as I wanted to stay in bed on that dark and rainy morning I knew that getting up would be worth it. As I got ready, being mindful of resisting the urge to throw on my old hoodie in favor of something a little more professional I asked myself questions. What would the students be like? Would they like me? Would I get along with the teacher? What exactly am I supposed to be doing? I left my house and made my way to Asa Messer Elementary School. The journey was very familiar, as it is close to my house and I have volunteered there before.

The short bus ride and walk there from my house involves avoiding stepping on litter, seeing streets and sidewalks that need work, buildings with graffiti on them, a church that has been abandoned for years, and low income apartment complexes and senior care facilities. I know that it isn’t the best area. The people here get by but they don’t have much and it isn’t very pretty but it’s home and I know that it is home to the kids that I am about to help learn.  It wasn’t until I approached the giant tan building that I felt nervous. I walked to the door and after getting buzzed in I went into the office. After I signed in and found my name tag a secretary led me throughout the seemingly plain building, down a purple walled hallway that was the designated kindergarten section of the school and to Room 201. I could never have imagined what would lie behind that door.

My senses were immediately overwhelmed. I heard 26 young voices singing/screaming along to the song “Alphabet Rock.” and  I immediately forgot that the real world outside was dull and gray because what I was in this classroom was anything but. There were colorful posters with various rules, letters, numbers, shapes, days of the week, and months on them. There were fairy lights and student artwork hanging from the ceilings. It was controlled chaos. I found the other volunteers and sat with them and watched the kids finish up their morning meeting on the rug.

As I looked at all of those young faces I felt very in my element. I was looking this classroom of students that completely reflected my own experiences in schools. These were kids that probably live in my neighborhood, as a matter of fact I thought about the likelihood that I had seen them before or had unknowingly helped out their families at the grocery store that I work at. I was comfortable being around these kids and I didn’t bat an eye when the teacher’s assistant referred to one of the kids as “Papito.” No one did because the majority of the students come from Spanish speaking families. I was also very familiar with the way that everyone communicated. The teachers were always stern but never harsh, although it might have seemed like it to those who aren’t familiar with the social norms of this area, and they always had a joke to tell.

After the morning meeting where they counted how many “friends” were in school today and determined how many were absent, watched a clip from Sesame Street to introduce their letter of the day (S) on the smart-board they went to their stations. One group of students were doing activities on ABC Mouse on IPads, another worked with the teacher to create crowns and practicing writing the letter S, and the teacher’s assistant was giving the students a little test on their sight words: “I” and “Am.”

By the time the station activities were done the kids were absolutely restless. No one could sit still but luckily that wasn’t an issue since gym time was next. I watched them giggle and jump and I tied many pairs of shoes and then it was time to go and immediately after I left and started walking down those familiar streets I  couldn’t wait to come back because I knew that my next visit would be more hands on and that the kids would feel more comfortable around me. Then the real fun would begin.

Shor Post

     This article tackled the question "what kind of youth worker or educator should I be?" Shor believes that people in these spaces have to go above and beyond for their students to make sure that they are engaged during class time. I have decided to base my blog post around Alyssa's blog post because I like the quotes that she chose since I feel like they perfectly sum up everything that Shor was trying to say. Alyssa talked a lot about how teachers have to make connections with their students and be aware of their backgrounds/circumstances to better understand them and create an environment where all of their needs are met. I agree with that a lot. Having such a large divide between teachers and their students makes it hard for students to approach teachers and it also might hinder productive class time. I say this because it is easier to participate when you are among people that you know and aren't afraid of saying something wrong. If the teacher shows an interest in their students then in turn students may do the same. 

     Alyssa also mentioned that students should have more power and control over what they do in the classroom. I agree with this because students have different strengths and it is unfair to treat them as if they are all the same and make everything so standardized. Also having more of a say in what they do will help keep them motivated and engaged. 

pecha kucha

Link to pecha kucha

Oakes- "Tracking: Why Schools Need to Take Another Route"

Reflection-
     Reading this article reminded me of my final paper I wrote for my first year writing class. I chose to research ability grouping and tracking. We also had to create a blog about our topic, which I will link here.
     In my paper and blog I talked about how even though ability grouping and tracking are very controversial, when done correctly they are useful and should be tried out in all classrooms.
     When most people hear about ability grouping they see it as this rigid systems where kids are set up to fail and be pit against one another but I see it as an opportunity to grow. When you separate students by ability for even part of the day they get to experience a more individualized learning where everyone is on the same page. They get to step out of their normal roles in a typical classroom and grow.
     I think that the biggest reason why ability grouping ever fails is due to the stigma surrounding it and not finding the right educators to implement it. Oakes talked about how kids in "lower ability groups" get less qualified teachers who come in with a negative attitude about their students. I see this as a problem with the teachers rather than the system. For this system, and for any other classroom system, to work you need teachers who are free of bias and who have a growth mindset towards their students, otherwise any system is doomed to fail.

Service Learning Connections to Author/ Mapping the Authors

In this blog post I will be connecting three authors with some stories from my field placement. For my full mapping the authors chart you can follow this link.

Story: When the kids go to gym the get in two lines: a boys line and a girls line. There was this one time when a boy wasn't really paying attention and he drifted into the girls line. The kids who noticed made a big deal out of it and laughed at him. He looked really embarrassed and strongly asserted that it was a mistake.

Connection to Authors

1) August- This reading talked about how we need to normalize being LGBT among children and make school a safe and inclusive place for everyone regardless of their gender identity or sexual orientation. In this situation the kids unintentionally could alienate a fellow classmate who might not fit into the gender binary or whose looks do not conform with the stereotypes of their gender.

2) Christensen- This reading talks about the stereotypes that children are bombarded with by the media that shape their beliefs or views on different groups of people. This story clearly shows that they have clear images about what a girl is and what a boy is and their laughter indicated to me that they think that there is something inherently undesirable about breaking stereotypes or perhaps being a girl.

3)Johnson- Johnson talked about how important it is to explicitly talk about issues with children which is in line with August and Christensen's beliefs. In this specific situation it would have been beneficial to the students if we had time to explore why they laughed and to talk to them about gender.  

Kliewer and Varenne & McDermott Quotes

1) "Democracy, in Dewey's perspective, "is more than a form of government; it is primarily a mode of associated living, of conjoint communicated experience."
- The Kliewer article goes on to say that in a true democracy everyone listens to and sees value in everyone else. Both of the articles talked about how people without disabilities tend to not even see people with disabilities as the people and peers that they are. We look down on them with pity and fail to see that we 100% can work with them or be friends with them and things like that. We create this divide between us and them as if they aren't capable of being apart of us and what we do. As long as we have this mindset we will not have a true democracy because we do not listen to those with disabilities, we silence and dismiss them due to our misunderstandings about what they are capable of.

2) "These students who exhibit the canonical mind are credited with understanding, even when real understanding is limited or absent; many people can pass the test but fail other, perhaps more appropriate or probing of understanding. Less happily many who are capable of exhibiting significant understanding appear deficient, simply because they cannot readily traffic in the commonly accepted coin of the educational realm."
- This quote is basically saying that our education system and the things or skills that we value in it are messed up. Doing well in school is not the same thing as being smart nor does it mean that you'll do better in life. Also we as a society value being able, which ties into the second article about the small town where there are a lot of deaf people and they all managed fine, everyone knew sign language and they had all these strengths but the people in the neighboring towns felt pity for the deaf people in the town.

3) "So I guess what I'm arguing is that if you did pick Lee out, you wouldn't be seeing Lee. It's not Lee you're picking out. It's your stereotype, your mindset."
- I picked this quote because I think that it is so true. We see a person and we make these judgments about who they are and what they're capable of and it's unfair.

School Segregation Connections

 

     This weeks readings made me think about two other readings that we have done:

               1) The Johnson reading- This weeks readings all mentioned that everyone knows that desegregating schools is the best way to improve the education of lower income black and brown students but no one wants to talk about it. This reminded me of the Johnson reading because they all talk about how uncomfortable it is to talk about race because we want to believe that we as a country have gotten past all of the racial inequalities and we don't want to admit that we have these systems that have been designed to make white people more likely to succeed.   

               2) The Kozol Reading- The Kozol reading described what it was like to live in poverty by following and talking to various people. They talked about their struggles and how they have essentially been abandoned by the people who are supposed to be protecting them and how no one who has the power to help them wants anything to do with them. On the TAL podcast they talked about how there are classes where the teachers don't show up, schools are left unaccredited for years and years at a time, and there are a number of more injustices that all add up to these kids having been abandoned. I also remember in the Kozol piece how the reason that they burned medical waste in that neighborhood was because the residents of the richer neighborhood didn't want it to happen where they live. It was also mentioned that the poor neighborhood became a dumping ground for things and people that no one else wanted. In the TAL podcast, essentially the same thing happened. The parents in the richer and whiter school district were resistant to accepting the Normandy students into their school and they even threatened to leave if the Normandy students really came. In both scenarios people want the poorer people of color to fix everything internally but it just isn't realistic. 

Kahne and Westheimer Reflection

   This article made me think about the Strength-Based approach in the field of social work, which I learned about in my Early Childhood Education and Social Work class. The Kahne and Westheimer article discussed the differences between service learning projects motivated by charity and by change. Those motivated by charity tend to make the assumption that the people that are receiving aid have little to nothing to offer in return so they just give help without gaining any knowledge or understanding. Also those motivated by charity might look down on those who they are helping, like  in the article they talked about the middle school students who went to an elementary school in a poor neighborhood. The students and their parents had all these negative assumptions about the kinds of people who lived in that neighborhood. 

   By contrast the service learning projects that are motivated by change align more closely with the Strength-Based Approach to social work. The strength based approach emphasizes that everyone no matter where they come from has something to offer, therefore everyone can learn from one another. When you participate in a social learning project with this approach in mind it creates a reciprocal relationship between you and those that you help, it isn't you looking down on someone simply giving them things. Instead it becomes two people or two groups of people creating a dialogue and helping each other.  

   It's hard to say whether service learning projects motivated by change or by charity are better because in both scenario's those who need help are receiving it. The question is do motives really matter? This is where ethics and moral philosophy comes into play. I took an ethics course for my first year seminar where we talked about this and really there isn't a right answer. However it is undeniable that service learning projects motivated by change does create a deeper understanding of the world